seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
