Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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