I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
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As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
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I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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