are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
