I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
