you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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