Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
