BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
