My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
