shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
