i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize