I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
