Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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