Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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