they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
