Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
