so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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