you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
