We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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