That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
