So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
