Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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