I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
