Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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