If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
