so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
