chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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