Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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