Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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