I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize