i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize