Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
