I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
