i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
