Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
