Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
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The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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