I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
