it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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