It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sext me about skeletons
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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