I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
it's like iHOP with fire
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
