glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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