Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Me too!
Someone shit on the floor
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
