I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
