I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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