I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
