it hurts more in the daytime
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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