i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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