Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
