Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
