you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i came on her dog
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
