Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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