just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
