A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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