Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize