Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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