Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
