you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize