I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
They have beer where we have blood.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize