Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize