he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
