U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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