Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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