Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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