oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
