your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize