I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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