My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
