You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
